Awareness
by Verdancy of the Green
Summary: He is a shadow. A shadow is everywhere but nowhere at the same time. So why in the world did he leave that sort existence?


**I always figured Kuroko is a lot more depressed than he lets on. I mean; his life story is technically summed up as 'almost no human contact outside of basketball.' And basketball is probably the main reason WHY he isn't in need of therapy. Not to mention we know absolutely nothing about his home and family and he's the main character. **

Basketball… Why did he start basketball? A very vague memory of a man tossing a ball and him catching it. The pass wasn't even intended for him. It was another dad throwing the ball to his son or daughter. He was just in the way. In the way. That's right, he didn't belong there. The feeling of that catch stayed with him for much longer than he thought it would.

He was known in elementary school as a ghost. The teasing was relentless. When they noticed him of course. In retrospect, his classmates must've been genuinely convinced he was a spirit of some kind. That would explain all the screaming. His parents told him that they loved him and he knew they weren't lying at all. It only hurt a bit when they'd eat together and asked him about school before they got started in a new conversation with each other and he slipped from their minds. He never blamed them. The loneliness bit at him, but it was bearable.

He decided he had to do something; _anything, _to make himself more noticeable. There was no point in volunteering for anything at school. He would just be ignored. This lack of presence was nothing short of a disability. His eyes were a startling ice blue that came from some far branch of the family tree. Maybe he'd dye his hair the same color. So he did. His parents absolutely freaked out when they saw it. They told him he could get suspended for that. He convinced them that nobody would notice and they grudgingly agreed. Then he realized he was absolutely right. No one would notice. His parents became accustomed to his hair and he was as invisible as before. He couldn't bring himself to stop dyeing his hair though, and the memory of his parents actually noticing him without any help brought a smile to his face. He kept it that way. Screw what they said about picking a weird color or how it was horrible for his hair.

That fond memory became a weak anchor for his shaky heart. He had no purpose and future like this. People picked the ones with the strongest impression for jobs and even colleges. Life passed by. Friends? Of course he had none. Maybe some kind people would approach the lonely boy sitting by himself during lunch; but what if no one could even see the boy eating by himself? He switched places frequently. He ate all over the school in hopes of finding someone. Lunch began to seem pointless to him. He ate less and did less. Soon he skipped lunch entirely. It was painful to eat by yourself. He wandered around school doing whatever.

One day, he stopped by the gym. The basketball team was practicing there. He wanted to play. He joined, but he was so bad his chances as a regular were zero percent. After that he met Aomine. Then the percentage started to creep up and jump by large intervals. He never interacted with any of the generation of miracles during school, but during games he had become connected to all of them. Aomine the most. It was like they could instinctively react to each other. Despite Aomine being many times faster and stronger he was able to keep up. Something akin to warmth started to appear in his chest. He became a regular. It was literally a dream come true. Aomine forced him to start eating more after he admitted he was fairly underweight. He actually took time to ask Momoi to start making food for him.

It all went downhill from there. Aomine stopped enjoying basketball, and then there was his own heart-wrenching last game with them at championships. They won the game, but still… They had effectively labeled him in their minds as unnecessary with their actions in that match. He hated this sport. He loved this sport so much that now he could only hate it rather than lose all feeling for it. The sport that had become his new emotional anchor was now as light as air.

So he ended up at Seirin High. All the others had gone to famous schools, but he had no places there. He was far too useless with a talent only the best coaches could exploit and even discover. Yet still, he applied for the basketball team. The hate and pain had gradually faded away, but wasn't he making himself vulnerable again?

It turns out the coach here was better than he expected. Aida and the rest of the team had realized what he could do so easily. Well, it was from some prodding on his part, but they found it out didn't they? Kagami was a surprise too. He hadn't counted on finding such a powerful and bright "light" so soon. Before he knew it they were actually friends. It wasn't anything close to the instinct he had developed with Aomine, but somehow being legitimate friends was so much better. He had fallen asleep on the bus leaning against Kagami after a match one time, and his jacket had slipped half off. He drowsily registered Kagami pulling it back on. No one had ever noticed him much less done favors for. He thanked him later but Kagami turned slightly red and yelled that the coach had asked him to do that before stomping away. Maybe he had been wrong.

Hyuuga only turned up a second later saying what a liar Kagami was and his doubts vanished.

It was after practice that one night when he nearly died. The whole group was trying to talk to each other and was squashed together on the tiny sidewalk. He wasn't anywhere near Kagami. Aida had said something about a surprise or whatever. It definitely had to do with training. Those were the only surprises she got excited over. Everyone groaned to some degree and there was some jostling as they all wondered what horrible thing she had in store for them. He got pushed off into the street. He didn't have any time to yell as he fell and the headlights of a car gleamed in his eyes. He was going to die and no one would notice until all the blood registered in their sight.

"KUROKO!"

Kagami grabbed his wrist hard and yanked him back onto the sidewalk. The car sped by with a large honk. How did Kagami notice? He hadn't done anything to get his attention, so how?

"You _IDIOT_! Next time just tell us if we're pushing! What if you got hurt?"

Kagami had simply noticed when no one else had. His knees buckled and he felt strong arms catch him.

Kagami had _noticed._

"Huh, what's wrong?"

He buried his face in Kagami's shirt and cried against his will. It was so childish. He shouldn't be crying.

But here he was. So grateful to Kagami he couldn't help but cry his heart out. The best part was that he didn't hear Kagami say anything. He just hugged him back (with probably that oh-god-why-is-this-happening-please-save-me-what-the-hell-is-going-on look plastered all over his face) while everyone worried and fussed over them both. Life was good.

**Whew! There! All finished! R&R please! I really enjoyed writing this.**


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